Today’s Criss Cross is all about …
So, you want to be a villain?
More importantly, do you have what it takes to be a villain??
- Personal vendetta – You must have a reason that is your reason. It may not make sense to anyone else, but this is your driving cause. Once this is achieved (which it totally will be, duh…)feel free to retire into oblivion. Or find something else to destroy or take over!
- Great Outfit –I mean, you can’t go out in your PJs!! (Use a cape only for effect, or if it’s cold. otherwise they just get in the way.)
- The Underhand – It’s like “the upper hand”, but in an underhanded way… see what I did there??
- Moral Compass, missing it’s needle – (But you should still have one, just in case you turn good, or get lost, or just for looks. because looks are important.)
- Sidekick, Stunt Double, SuperPet, or Alter Ego – (dragon, army of mythical creatures, robot, mind-controlled minions… it’s a flexible criteria…) Because you can’t do it alone.
- Lair – This is super important. You must have a special place to prepare your attacks ad trickery! and to put all the cool stuff you “pick up” along the way.
- Secret weakness – Because, come one, you aren’t going to win, and if the Hero finds out about your love of gummy bears or how old western romances make you go wobble in the knees, it’s over buddy…
- Devious, complex, and/or cunning mind – Because being an idiot never helped anybody take over the world. Not to mention you have to work extra hard trying to stay ahead of everybody else, coming up with new way to destroy things…
- Great hair – (See, also JB’s point below) If you are about to blow something up and you are the last thing they’ll ever see…you may as well give those poor folks something nice to look at. You should frighten people with your power, not morning breath and a rats nest… (Good example: Cruella DeVille – Class, Sass, Style. Bad example: Joker – scary guy, but he put his makeup on with the lights off and hasn’t touched his haif since getting it colored during his punk rock phase in high school) Facial Hair is good too, assuming it is kept well groomed (Good example: Captain Hook, and Jafar, from Aladdin)
- Cool weapons – Because you won’t be “killing them with kindness”
- Arch nemesis – Because… well you gotta have somebody to fight. An childhood hero that disappointed you, or an angellic step family member usually work pretty well. Or anyone trying to thwart your take-over plans. Also, Use nifty words like “nifty”, and “thwart”!
- An “I never lose!” attitude – Nobody likes a Negative Nancy or Sad Brad.
- 1 or 2 relate-able qualities – You needn’t be a total freak. Somebody needs to be on your side.
- Be scary – duh.
- Envy-worthy mode of transportation – (Warning : don’t take your dragon through the drive through… they don’t like their menu board melted.)
- Stash of cool weapons – It’s like a trophy room!!
- Transformation abilities – I mean who wouldn’t want that?!?
- Troubled past – It’s just fuel for the fire. An old grudge works too.
- They have evil plots to bring down good.
- Driven by greed, for money, power, eternal life, or whatever
- They sometimes seem disappear when they finally won (if they win) because their life seems to no longer have purpose (think Megamind)
- Anti-heroes are interesting, too. Think of Disney’s recent Wreck it Ralph or The Creature from Frankenstein. Are they bad or just misunderstood? In recent works dealing with “Anti-hero” villains, they turn good and become the hero at the end of the story.
- Sometimes they are just pure evil and scare me. The witch in Snow White—she was fast-forward-ed through when I was younger. And the evil guy on Princess and the Frog scares me. (I don’t know how that guy made it into a Disney movie… ugh…*shudders* – Juli)
- Not all villains purposefully do bad. Some think they’re doing the right thing, even if their intentions are, indeed, bad. (I love these kind. For a moment you see their humanity, and then you like/hate them. They are the hero of their own story. I still root for the true hero though. -Rachel)
- A well-developed villain has a reason for doing what they do that helps you to understand their deeds (even if you don’t agree with said deeds).
- They’re either really ugly or really attractive. (Ah? So true! it’s really hard to get into a plain villain. A villain, by nature, is a bit showy. -Juli )
- A scary villain makes you want to cuddle under the covers with your favorite teddy bear. (Or at least three-year-old me did whenever the evil witch appeared in Disney movies.)
What do you think qualifies someone to be a villain?
Check back Monday for our new feature with Xander. We will be talking more about villains!